Unsolicited Advice

First of all, please do not blame yourself. Stress and anxiety are a normal part of everyone's life and not everyone gets Fibromyalgia. This is a disease that affects the central nervous system - and while there is more known about it now than ever before, they still have such a long way to go to really nail it down. We do not know for sure that stress/anxiety/illness/injury/surgery/etc. gave this to us. There are some doctors and researchers who no longer believe that to be the cause of Fibromyalgia.

The worst thing you can do at the onset of this and really, for the rest of your life, is to blame yourself for any part of it.

Yes, at this point, Fibromyalgia is a lifelong disease, there is no cure, sadly. I would like to fill you full of hope and good stuff but I believe in honesty. So, I will say this:

You are at the beginning of a very long road. You'll probably try different medications until you find the 'cocktail' that works specifically for you. Some of us are on Lyrica or Savella or Cymbalta - they call those the 'big three' because they are the most used to treat the symptoms of Fibromyalgia. Some of us could not tolerate any of those - the side effects can be rough, but not for everyone. So we might take muscle relaxers, pain pills, sleeping medications, etc.

It truly is trial and error to find which meds work in tandem to help -you-. Never be afraid to return to your doctor and say - "This isn't working for me. Let's try something else."

And that's the next thing I would like to address. Doctors. So many of us have gone through a few until we found one that we felt really listened and would work with us for the long haul. Do not be afraid to communicate every little thing to your physician - every symptom, every pain, every thought, emotion.

Ask questions of them, demand answers from them, do not allow them to brush you off. Nobody knows your body better than you do. You must be your own best advocate. So remember, they work for -you-. They are getting paid to help you. If he or she is not doing that, time to find someone else.

I would suggest looking up the "Five Stages of Grief" and reading a lot about it. Yes, it was written, I believe, for people who are diagnosed with terminal illness or for people who have lost a loved one in any manner - but it addresses what we go through on a mental and emotional level, perfectly.

We get so caught up in the physical side of Fibromyalgia that we often times forget that we also need to take care of our mental and emotional health too. They suffer because of this disease, so very much.

Another great thing to read is: The Spoon Theory.

It explains in the most amazing way, what life is like with a chronic illness.

I said that you are at the beginning of a very long road. I was diagnosed three years ago and I truly did not have a clue how much this would change my life. There are a million small ways that one cannot fathom, that are impacted. But, the deal is this: You also learn how precious life is, how meaningful those small things everyone else takes for granted, really are.

You learn how strong you are. You learn to forgive yourself for not being able to do the things you once did. And you even learn to find new ways to have fun, to have a good quality of life. Maybe instead of going out dancing with your loved one, you go to a movie and cuddle in the back row. Things like that. We learn to adjust, to become a new version of ourselves.

Know that you are going to have good days and bad days for the rest of your life. And know that is it OKAY to have those bad days.