Diarrhea Of The Mouth

I was talking with Tony last night about, well, poop.  I was very stoned on pain medication, muscle relaxers and that is my only excuse for going off on a bender about my digestion problems.  I have IBS - Irritable Bowel Syndrome - and it is a pain in the ass.  (Puns are always intended on this blog.)

I had not been in sharing mode for long when he said he needed to go AFK. (Away From Keyboard, for those of you who may not know the lingo.)  Maybe he needed to get a drink or feed the cat.  Maybe he needed to laugh at me or possibly, he needed to step away and gag.  Whatever took him away, I didn't let it bother me - I just kept on typing.

I told him the story of my day with IBS.  How I had forgotten to take the Miralax the doctor told me to take every other day.  I said that I was very disenchanted with the IBS medication they had prescribed because it didn't seem to be working at all.

I filled him in on how IBS can cause diarrhea or consipation but for me, it was usually the latter - compacted bowels filled with poop that wanted to stay awhile.  That IBS makes us very gassy and the gas pains are gut-twisting agony.  And how.. if I could just fart, I would feel so much better.  That I was praying for one long, preferably silent and non-smelly fart that would take all of the pain with it.

I had no shame.  I felt like he wanted needed to hear every crappy detail of my life with IBS.  He had no choice in the matter as I flung words onto the screen.  Finally, he returned from AFK & God bless him, he took it in stride as he always does. 

I told him that I was sure when I woke up the next morning and was no longer high as a kite, I would be mortified by what I had shared with him.  The first thought I had this morning was - Did I really talk about farting last night?

...Yes I did.  Boo.