Friday, July 5, 2013

Paying For The 4th of July

The 4th of July kicked my butt. I knew it was going to though - I think all of us know that any holiday or event is going to do us in. It doesn't matter if we're hosting a get together or we're going to a party at somebody else's house. We know before it happens that there will be a price to pay.

We hosted a picnic yesterday at our house for some family and friends. I paced myself and rested often - basically, I did everything I could to work -with- the fibromyalgia so just maybe it wouldn't turn into a flare. No such luck.

Even though the party was only from 4 p.m. until 11 p.m., by the time the last guest left, I couldn't decide between ripping my hair out and shrieking the pain or just flopping over in the grass and staying there until next Tuesday.

I've become very sensitive to bright light, flashing light and noise in general so the fireworks gave me a terrible headache.  I was recently diagnosed with migraines so maybe the headache was that rather than the Fibromyalgia.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Because we want to live our lives, have some fun, make memories with our families. We get tired of giving in to this damned disease every day. We fight back and sometimes push too hard.

It will take me all weekend to recover from yesterday. That makes me mad and sad too. It was worth it but I wish we didn't have that terrible choice to make between being present in our lives and the pain that follows.