The Liebster Award

Shelley, over at Chronic Mom, nominated me for the Liebster award.  I'm so excited, my first blog award here but I hope not the last! The Liebster award was created to recognize and/or discover new bloggers and welcome them to the blogosphere.

I admit to always being so happy when I get a comment on one of my posts or a new follower.  Anyone taking their time to read things I have to say is an honor.

I hope Shelley doesn't mind but I'm going to borrow how she explained the Liebster award & how it works:

Once you receive the award you pay it forward to other blogs of your choosing and then they pay it forward from there etc.  It's kind of like a chain letter but less annoying since you get exposed to other blogs and other people get exposed to yours. The nominator asks ten questions of the nominees and here's the questions Shelley asked of me:

1.  Why did you start blogging?

I began blogging because I wanted to tell people, within my posts, "Hey you, you're not alone on this journey.  We may not know each other but I'm right here with you, learning how to be a new version of myself with this disease."  I wanted to give folks posts to read where they say, 'I have that happen too!' or 'I feel that exact same way, I'm sad and angry but it helps that I'm not alone.'"

2.  What is your favorite quote?

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."  -  William Makepeace Thackeray

(This quote was said by the late, great Brandon Lee on the movie, "The Crow".)

3.  What is your favorite book?

Any book by Kristin Hannah.  The stories her books tell are the heart and soul of all women and the depth of love we are capable of.  I cry each time I read them and I've read all of them multiple times.

4.  What is something you have learned recently?

That Android phones are based on Linux.

5.  What is your biggest pet peeve?

The space around me not being organized.

6.  What are three random facts about yourself? 

a.  I need music as a daily part of my life.  (As evidenced by the playlists on my 8tracks.com page.)
b.  I have four birthmarks and four tattoos.
c.  I see love.

7.  What song are you addicted to at the moment?

Imagine Dragons - Demons

8.  What is your most cherished memory?

When both of my children were born and watching my grandson come into the world.

9.  What is the first thought that popped in your head this morning?

Pain.  It hurts.. get up.. but it hurts.. I know, get up.

10.  If weight were a non issue, what one thing would you eat every day?

Medium rare ribeye steak with a light glaze of real butter and A1 on top.

The Liebster Award is a way to recognize worthy and inspirational blogs with under 200 followers. You can choose to view it as an annoying chain mail message, or a lovely recognition and pay it forward.  These are so many blogs that I check into as often as I can, for inspiration, a laugh and community but I have chosen to nominate these three for the award:

Fightin The Fibro
Life And Fibromyalgia
Learning To Trust

The 10 questions for my nominees are:

1.  Why did you begin blogging?
2.  What is your favorite way to spend time?
3.  How has illness most affected your life?
4.  What is your favorite movie?
5.  What do you hope to share most with your blog?
6.  What are three goals for 2014?
7.  What are three random facts about yourself?
8.  If you could have dinner with any famous person in history, alive or dead, who would it be?
9.  What's your favorite song?
10. What is your favorite quote?

Cracks

If you havn't heard of this poet, Tyler Knott, please look him up.  His work is inspiring, beautiful and soulful.  I'm such a fan.

All of his poetry speaks to me - some on love, happiness, sorrow and some on being ill as this one does.

If all of the pain in my body caused tiny cracks that allowed the love I feel for others to shine out, I would glow with light and warmth and it would heal me from the outside in.

You can find his website here:  Tyler Knott

Enjoy!

Fibromyalgia & Nerve Damage

Often times, I come across good research in the fields of Fibromyalgia and other chronic pain diseases.  Some of them are years old, some new but regardless, they teach and allow me to better handle my illness. 

When I find those articles or studies of interest, I want to pass the information along here for my readers perusal. Maybe they will educate you or help you to feel as if things make a little bit more sense.  At the very least, you might read one and know that somewhere out there, people are trying to help us. 

Here is an article, albeit a few years old, that I read the other night:  Nerve Damage In Fibromyalgia Patients

Thanks, Heather!

My niece  saved this to show me and I love it.  I love big cats, especially lions and the quote by Bob Marley is so true. 

We Find Inspiration Where We Can

One of the most famous songs ever and it does remind me of how strong I am.  I may not be beating on a bag, doing push ups, sit ups, jogging or even running faster than I thought humanly possible at the 4:07 mark of the video, but I get out of bed every day and fight a disease that has no mercy.

You Push And I'll Pelt

As a follow up from one of my recent posts, All I Want Is A Cure And Good News:  I saw the Endocrinologist early this week and he told me that though the first set of tests on the adrenal tumor had come back abnormal, the second set proved that everything is fine.  Yay!

I've had this benign tumor sitting on my right kidney for years.  It's only been the last two years that they've decided to watch it with tests to make sure it doesn't become active.  The doctor wants to check again next December and if it's still 'quiet', we can leave it alone.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my Gastroenterologist.  It was far less positive.  I have IBS, which is a common concurrent issue with Fibromyalgia.  I also have chronic Diverticulitis.  And ulcers in my stomach.  I have to see a nutritionist on an ongoing basis and go on a very limited diet to try and control the problem areas.

Diet is the worst four letter word in the English language. 

I am what I like to call curvy.  What that really means is I have weight issues but this diet isn't about addressing that problem at all.  When I lose weight, and I will, that will simply be a positive side effect.  A bonus, if you will.

The real issue is the chronic Diverticulitis.  To put it as simply as I can, there are small pockets in my intestine/colon that can catch food particles in the stool and it then becomes infected.  That's.. not good, to say the least.  A big percentage of the population over 40 have those pouches and even more people as they age past 40.  But not everyone has food become trapped in them/infection issues.

Sadly, I do and if it flares up too many times, they will want to do surgery to remove that part of my colon.  Anesthesia is a serious risk for me because of sleep apnea.

It just keeps going, doesn't it?  They all link together to form this invisible chain that binds tighter than any metal ever could.

I have so many thoughts and feelings on all of it.  Last night, I sat at my desk and sobbed - those great big, hiccuping, gulping air sobs of grief.  Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by it all.

The irony of being sick with any disease, illness or injury is that it takes the strongest person to cope with the physical, mental and emotional aspects but we're so often at our weakest by the very nature of being ill.

I don't know how I do it.  How any of us keep doing it.  Fighting, that is.  But I also don't feel like there's any other choice.

Strength

I may stumble, sometimes I even fall and though it takes me longer now, I always get back up.