Cracks

If you havn't heard of this poet, Tyler Knott, please look him up.  His work is inspiring, beautiful and soulful.  I'm such a fan.

All of his poetry speaks to me - some on love, happiness, sorrow and some on being ill as this one does.

If all of the pain in my body caused tiny cracks that allowed the love I feel for others to shine out, I would glow with light and warmth and it would heal me from the outside in.

You can find his website here:  Tyler Knott

Enjoy!

A Quote For Fibros

This is what I need, including your love.  And I need all of it in great and endless supply.

My Favorite 'Love Story' Movies: #3

Ghost - Starring:  Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore & Whoopi Goldberg

IMDB Link: Ghost 

8Track Love Movie Playlist 

My favorite song from the movie:  Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers

Why I love the movie:  Ghost is simply a timeless classic and always will be.  It speaks to our hope that there is something beyond this life - something beautiful and peaceful.  A place where we will again see those we love who went before us. 

To me, that is the one of the best messages of this movie - that nobody is lost to us forever.  At the end, when Sam says to Molly, "See ya", it is his promise to her that they will be together again someday.  

Death is hardest on those left behind to miss us.  Sometimes, it is only the hope of Heaven, a place of eternal love, that gets them through the worst of the loss.

Just like a much darker movie, The Crow, this film speaks of coming back to seek justice, right the wrongs, and protect those we love.  It makes us think about guardian angels, our loved ones still watching over us and, I think, finding a profound happiness in our lives and how they touched them while they were alive.

The other thing about Ghost that I love - you just have to have faith and believe.  During times of the worst pain, physical or emotional, times of sadness and despair, the hardest thing to do can sometimes be to jump into belief of things we cannot see or touch.  But that belief is often the only thing that saves us.  God is real, he is a loving God and he will take our hand if we reach out for his.

My favorite quote from the movie:  "It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you. See ya."

"I've had more lifetimes than any 10 people put together, and it's been an amazing ride...So this (dying) is O.K." - Patrick Swayze - R.I.P.

My Favorite 'Love Story' Movies: #5

Practical Magic - Starring:  Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Aidan Quinn, Stockard Channing, Dianne Wiest

IMDB Link: Practical Magic

8Track Love Movie Playlist

My favorite song from the movie (and also one of my daughter's favorite songs of all time):  Crystal by Stevie Nicks

Why I love the movie:  I believe that not only is love magical, so are people.  We all have our special abilities and talents.  Each of us are unique and bring something to life that only we can.  Nobody can speak or laugh as we do, nobody can create beauty in the same way as another. 

Sally casts a spell as a child, hoping to divert love and a broken heart when she grows up.  The spell in turn brings her the one man who is her soul mate.  Some things are destiny and magic always plays a part in the turn of fate's hand. 

The relationship between the sisters, Sally and Jillian, and with their aunts is another reason I love the film.  This movie is very much about the strength of women, our power over adversity, the ability to keep standing up and moving forward and our need for one another in the best and worst times. 

This, to me, is magical - that we're tiny specks of light in a vast universe and yet beyond all understanding, each of us are meant to be here for just a little while to make a difference, to be loved and love in return. 

My favorite quote from the movie:  "I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for."

Therapy - God - Friends - Love

Today I begin therapy.  Not the kind that works on my muscles and bones, rather, the kind that works on my mind.  Three hours from now, I'll be in that therapist's office, beginning what I hope to be a journey towards balance.  I have been counting down the days and now, the hours.  Counting them down because of hope and fear.  I need this to help me find the balance that I've lost to fibromyalgia. 

I'm scared because I'm not sure if I realized how much work this might turn out to be.  I have to find a way to reveal myself to this male therapist.  I point out his gender because I don't trust men.  Due to things that happened during my childhood, I have no reason to trust them.  But, I've been on a waiting list for six months to get this opportunity for help and I need to reach out and grasp it with both hands.  

I'm not very good at talking to strangers.  I feel like what I have to say might be boring or dumb.  I feel insecure.  I feel, when I open up and allow others into my mind, that they might see the terrors, the horrible memories that live there.  I know this therapy can't just be about my struggles with depression due to fibromyalgia.  I have to talk about my childhood too, my son's illness and what that did to me.  

You don't get to talk about things like that and not relive it in a sense.  That's painful and difficult.  A part of me wants to cancel this appointment, hide from having to communicate.  But how do I get help if I don't?  The answer is.. I don't.  I need help.  Just saying those three words, admitting it, is hard for me.  

I talked with Tony about it last night.  I talk with him a lot about it.  I talked with Heather about it yesterday too, while we shopped, while we ate dinner together.  Both of them have been so supportive and I'm grateful and blessed to have them.  I truly do not know what I would do without their consistent presence, patience and capacity to listen and hear me, endlessly.  

Today, I called my sister in law, Carol.  I told her about going to therapy and how frightened I am.  Before we hung up, she prayed for me.  She asked God to be with me, to fill my heart with peace, strength.  To touch me with his presence.  I had tears in my eyes.  It was needed.  I love you, Carol.  I love you, Tony.  I love you, Heather.  I love you, God.  Thank you, all of you, for forming a circle of love around me.

"When you're weak, I'll be strong.  When you let go, I'll hold on.  When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes.  When you feel lost and scared to death, like you can't take one more step.. just take my hand, together we can do it.  I'm gonna love you through it." - Martina McBride

You Just Say It

This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie, "My Best Friend's Wedding".  I think the sentiment that Dermot Mulroney expresses to Julia Roberts is so true.  When you feel love for a person, you have to say it, tell them right in that moment. 

Whether it's a new relationship or one of many years, when that person is doing the smallest thing that makes you pause and think - I love you - say the words too.  Those moments can be so fleeting and pass us by in the next breath as we continue with the day to day details of life.

Never feel too shy or awkward, never feel insecure about expressing your emotion.  Three little words can be everything another person needs to make their day full of joy.