As a follow up from one of my recent posts, All I Want Is A Cure And Good News: I saw the Endocrinologist early this week and he told me that though the first set of tests on the adrenal tumor had come back abnormal, the second set proved that everything is fine. Yay!
I've had this benign tumor sitting on my right kidney for years. It's only been the last two years that they've decided to watch it with tests to make sure it doesn't become active. The doctor wants to check again next December and if it's still 'quiet', we can leave it alone.
Yesterday, I had an appointment with my Gastroenterologist. It was far less positive. I have IBS, which is a common concurrent issue with Fibromyalgia. I also have chronic Diverticulitis. And ulcers in my stomach. I have to see a nutritionist on an ongoing basis and go on a very limited diet to try and control the problem areas.
Diet is the worst four letter word in the English language.
I am what I like to call curvy. What that really means is I have weight issues but this diet isn't about addressing that problem at all. When I lose weight, and I will, that will simply be a positive side effect. A bonus, if you will.
The real issue is the chronic Diverticulitis. To put it as simply as I can, there are small pockets in my intestine/colon that can catch food particles in the stool and it then becomes infected. That's.. not good, to say the least. A big percentage of the population over 40 have those pouches and even more people as they age past 40. But not everyone has food become trapped in them/infection issues.
Sadly, I do and if it flares up too many times, they will want to do surgery to remove that part of my colon. Anesthesia is a serious risk for me because of sleep apnea.
It just keeps going, doesn't it? They all link together to form this invisible chain that binds tighter than any metal ever could.
I have so many thoughts and feelings on all of it. Last night, I sat at my desk and sobbed - those great big, hiccuping, gulping air sobs of grief. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by it all.
The irony of being sick with any disease, illness or injury is that it takes the strongest person to cope with the physical, mental and emotional aspects but we're so often at our weakest by the very nature of being ill.
I don't know how I do it. How any of us keep doing it. Fighting, that is. But I also don't feel like there's any other choice.
I don't know how any of us do it either. It's so funny how healthy people treat us sickies like we are the weak ones, but the strength of will it takes to fight illness after illness is incredible. You're right though, most of us were not given a choice, so we've just learned how to deal and we've found a way to be strong because we have to be.
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