I found out a long time ago that I have sleep apnea. After two different surgeries, the last one just a few months ago, I was told that it was pretty bad and to have a sleep test done as soon as possible. I had that done and it was confirmed - I quit breathing over 40 times an hour while I slept. It was classified as severe apnea and a machine was ordered.
I've had it for about two weeks now and I'll admit, I don't like it much. I'm not a doctor but I feel like the pressure setting once I'm asleep is too high as it can actually startle me out of sleep when it pumps a rush of air into my lungs.
It dries out my mouth and nose - I'm a mouth breather while I sleep so I have to use a full face mask. And by the way, when I've watched Youtube videos about the different varieties of face masks, they make mouth breathers sound like knuckle dragging cavemen. Like we can help it when our jaw flops open at 2 a.m.
I've heard from friends and family that either use an apnea machine or know someone who does, how much they love it and how well it works. That they've gotten the best sleep they can remember.
Why isn't this happening for me yet? Why do I struggle to fall asleep at all and why do I wake up in a panic in the middle of the night, already reaching for the mask to yank it off because it feels like I have an iron lung breathing for me? Why am I not feeling refreshed, ready to jump out of bed and sing with the birds each morning? And why does my tongue feel like it died whenever I wake up?
I really looked forward to getting the sleep apnea machine. I want this to work and to help make me feel even a little better. I know it's not going to be the magic cure for my fibromyalgia, IBS, hypothyroidism or anything else that's on the 'wrong with me' list. But, if it allowed me a good night's rest so I could start over every morning in my quest to cope with being ill, that would be fantastic.
I guess I just need to keep trying.
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